Marriage Banns

Marriage banns, also called the banns of marriage, serve as a formal announcement of intent to marry. By tradition, marriage banns are called in many Christian churches, including those administered by the Church of England and Catholic churches. Depending on the nation, banns of marriage can be used instead of a wedding license, a loophole exploited by some same sex couples, and many churches require that the banns be read before they will hold a wedding. Marriage banns are rooted in centuries of Christian tradition, and for many devout couples, they are an important part of the wedding process.

In order to be considered valid, marriage banns must be read or called during services on three Sundays before the wedding in the parish church of the bride and the groom. If the wedding is being held outside the parish of the bride or groom, the marriage banns must be read in that church as well. The banns are considered valid for three months after the last reading. Typically, the marriage banns state the name and parish of both bride and groom, and indicate that individuals with objections to the marriage should make those objections known before the wedding day. The religious official calling the marriage banns will also indicate how many times the banns have been read.

In the early church, marriage between members of the church had to be approved both by the parents of the prospective couple and the church itself. The banns indicated formal church approval of the marriage. The marriage banns were also used to root out illegal marriages, such as those held between people who were too closely related or already married. The practice of reading the marriage banns in all parishes concerned ensures that anyone who objects to the marriage will have ample opportunity to do so before the actual day of the wedding.

In general, marrying without calling the banns makes a marriage illicit, but not invalid. Some sects have considered doing away with marriage banns, in an effort to encourage couples to marry in church, as modern couples sometimes find the banns restrictive. Others view marriage banns as an important step in the rite of passage which marriage represents, and insist that banns be read before couples are married. Couples outside the church who wish to marry in a specific parish church or cathedral may be required to have their banns read, so make sure to inquire about this when making wedding arrangements.

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Dowry: Whose culture is it?

Dowry culture was never an Indian culture... Who brought it here?

A dowry (also known as trousseau) is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings to her husband in marriage.

The opposite direction, property given to the bride by the groom, is called dower or mahr. Normally the bride would be entitled to her dowry in event of her widowhood, prior to the evolution of her dower rights; so common was this that the terms “dowry” and “dower” are sometimes confused.

The dowry should not be confused with a bride price, money or goods paid by the prospective groom to the bride’s parents in exchange for her hand in marriage.

In Homeric times, the usual Greek practice was to give a brideprice, and dowries were also exchanged in the later classical time (5th century BC). Ancient Romans also practiced dowry, though Tacitus notes that the Germanic tribes practiced the reverse custom of the dower.

Dowry was widely practiced in Europe at all times. In Victorian England, it was seen as an early payment of her inheritance, such that only daughters who had not received their dowry were entitled to part of the estate when their parents died, and if the couple died without children, the dowry was returned to the bride’s family.

Failure to provide a customary, or agreed-upon, dowry could call off a marriage. William Shakespeare made use of this in King Lear: one of Cordelia’s wooers ceases to woo her on hearing that King Lear will give her no dowry. And in Measure for Measure, Claudio and Juliet’s premarital sex was brought about by their families’ wrangling over dowry after the betrothal, and Angelo’s motive for forswearing his betrothal with Mariana is the loss of her dowry at sea. Folklorists often interpret the fairy tale Cinderella as the competition between the stepmother and the stepdaughter for resources, which may include the need to provide a dowry. Gioacchino Rossinis opera La Cenerentola makes this economic basis explicit: Don Magnifico wishes to make his own daughters’ dowry larger, to attract a grander match, which is impossible if he must provide a third dowry.

One common penalty for the kidnapping and rape of unmarried women was that the abductor or rapist had to provide the woman’s dowry, which was until the late 20th century the wreath money, or the breach of promise.

Providing dowries for poor women was regarded as a form of charity. The custom of Christmas stockings springs from a legend of St. Nicholas, in which he threw gold in the stockings of three poor sisters, thus providing for their dowries. St. Elizabeth of Portugal and St. Martin de Porres were particularly noted for providing such dowries, and the Archconfraternity of the Annunciation, a Roman charity dedicated to providing dowries, received the entire estate of Pope Urban VII.

In some parts of Europe, land dowries were common. In Grafschaft Bentheim, for instance, it was not uncommon for people who had no sons to give a land dowry to their new son-in-law with the condition that the groom would take the surname of his bride. The Indian city of Mumbai(Bombay), which is one of the biggest cities in the world, was given as a dowry by the Portuguese crown to the British when H.M. Charles II King of England, Scotland and Ireland married Catherine of Braganza, a princess of Portugal in 1661.

In some cases, nuns would be required to bring a dowry when joining a convent.

In Europe and Western culture in general it is still common for the bride’s family to pay for the majority of the wedding costs.

Source: Antidowry.org

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Dowry or Hope Chest and Trousseau

There was a time when marriage would include some exchange of property between the families of the bride and groom. The groom's family would pay a price to the bride's family for the bride.

The bride's family in turn would provide the couple with a dowry of various household items for their new home. As a bride planned for her future marriage, she would supplement this dowry with her own items that she collected or made (i.e. embroidered linens). All items would be kept in a special Hope Chest built by the bride's father for the purpose of holding the dowry. The trousseau included all the clothing and property which a bride brought with her to the marriage. Today, the trousseau includes all wedding and shower gifts as well as new purchases.

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Twentieth-Century Bridal Showers

Today there are many variations of bridal showers.

Hosting Couple Showers - Men have become much more involved in the wedding process. With more couples paying for their own weddings, the groom doesn't want to feel left out of the pre-wedding festivities. Having men present makes the whole thing much more relaxed. You see less of the traditions such as bouquets and hats made from the bows and ribbons. And the showers are more often held at the couple's favorite hangouts such as a restaurant or a bar, or even at a friend's house for brunch. The friends or family planning the showers have become tuned in to this. As the guest arrives at the bridal shower, have him or her fill an entry in an address book, which will act as the "sign-in" book. At the end of the shower, the bride has all the addresses and phone numbers she needs!

* Activity Centered Shower For Women Only - Women are now experiencing other bridal shower methods. A popular activity has become spending a day at the spa. Often the bridal party does this. Everyone attending the shower is signed up for two or three spa services. The organizer reserves a space at the spa so that everyone can eat lunch together and exchange gifts. Sometimes the guests pitch in together to pay for the bride's services, as their shower gift for her.

* Shower at the Office - Offices have become friendlier places over the years and with the growing brotherliness, it's become more common to host bridal showers for co-workers. We are seeing more nowadays showers being extended to the groom, not just to the women in the office. Of course, given the more professional nature of the environment, the do's and the don'ts for office showers are a bit different from family and home showers.

Source: Wedalert.com

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A Little Bridal Shower History

Today, bridal showers are just another one of those common pre-wedding celebrations we’ve come to expect. Maids or matrons of honor have the role of planning the event and putting everything together, including sending out the bridal shower invitations. Although bridal showers are pretty much standard procedure in the U. S. and Canada, this part of the wedding celebration didn’t start in North America.

During the 1500’s or 1600’s, a Dutch girl fell in love with a boy who didn’t have much money. She didn’t care that he had no money and wouldn’t be able to provide her with a life of ease, but her father did. He had hoped she would marry some with better means for supporting her. As a result, the father disapproved of the marriage.

While that might not matter much today, because the couple could still run and get married, couples received a dowry from the bride’s father to help them get started in their lives. The Dutch girl’s father adamantly refused to give the dowry if she married this boy. No dowry meant no way to set up a home and, therefore, no marriage.

People who knew the couple wanted to help because it was clear they were truly in love. They worked together and bought them gifts that would help them establish their new home. The father was so overwhelmed by the outpouring of kindness from the other people that he finally consented to the marriage.

Whether the love story is true or not, couples of all economic backgrounds began being “showered” with gifts by friends and family so they could establish a new home for themselves. Near the end of the 19th century, the custom reached the United States, probably thanks to the increased immigration from Europe.

Although bridal showers began as simple affairs, today they can be as casual or as lavish as you want. Some brides even have multiple bridal showers to accommodate all of her friends, family members, and co-workers. Some wedding planners even assist in putting together the entire bridal shower with the hold of the maid/matron of honor.

Despite these changes, the basic idea of the bridal shower has never really changed. The celebration is a sign that your friends and family approve of the partnership and gives them a way to help you get your household started. Whether you have a simple shower or a huge event, it’s definitely an important part of the modern wedding tradition.

Source: MyExpression
Image Source: Bridabuds.com

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